The Chutzpah

This is all hearsay.

This girl I don't know dated some guy for a couple of months. She thought things were going really well, so she invited her 2-month boyfriend to come over one evening. She'd make dinner, and he'd spend the night. He did come over for dinner and to spend the night, and found that she was nice enough to pick up a box of soy milk in consideration of his lactose intolerance. And the next morning, not long after he delivered the "this isn't going anywhere" speech, he stopped by the fridge, took out the soy milk, and on his way out said, "i'll just take this since you won't be needing it".

Was his middle name Cantaloupes?

The end.